Mom was young and attractive like a movie star. This guy kept teasing me saying, “Hey RJ, how’s your sexy mom, woo hoo, so sexy.” I ignored him as long as I could. One day I snapped and ran toward him and knocked him down. I stood over him, grabbed the front of his jacket and kept lifting then batting his head against the ground. He never did it again. I had my pals I hung around with just like Ralphie. Earl, Pete, Rosie (Raymond) Jerry and Ernie. We were inseparable, all in the same class. Like Ralphie, I too had bitten into a bar of Lifebuoy soap, and it was the worst tasting soap. If my Irish, Catholic mom heard my sisters or I swear when we were little, that’s what would happen. We were never hit but we did get groundings and tasted soap. The girls especially were repeat soap tasters.
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My gf’s family invited me to join them for Christmas, my family invited my gf to join us for Christmas. Her family had lunch at 12, mine at 2, so no problem as it was only a Call Me If You Get Lost Shirt walk between the two. So lunch at hers, both walk over to my parents lunch there, no driving because everyone would be drinking and I’m not paying premium for a taxi. So I walk to my gf ‘s to find lunch was a four course stacked meal! Her mum knew from experience that I had a big appetite so she had big plates and mine was piled high! Good thing about walking, it gave me chance to walk off a few calories. Get to my parents and lunch is served, my mum knows I have a large appetite, if it’s on your plate you eat it all, large plate piled high!! So that’s eaten but it’s time to walk back to gf’s for dinner. “All that walking I must be hungry?” Another four courses, big plates piled high!! Then back home for dinner at my parents, main meal of the day! “Must be hungry after all that walking!” I just about managed before it was time to take gf home. “ Bit of supper to keep you going” plate of cold cuts, cheese and biscuits, cake and a few mince pies! Stagger home full of food and alcohol to find mum had left some supper out for me!
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